10 Dim Witted Ways To Celebrate Earth Hour Today

Save The Burning EarthLet’s all keep the planet from melting this evening between 8 and 9 pm your local time by participating in Earth Hour. I hope you will get involved in this global marketing effort, turn off your lights for an hour and link to the Earth Hour web site such as I have done to bring more attention to the World Wildlife Fund…er…uh…I mean climate change.

Here are 10 things I am doing today to save the planet in only 1 hour:

1. I’m passing out flyers about this initiative all around my neighborhood to get more people involved. Of course I did use my printer for 1 solid hour and used 1,000 sheets of paper in the effort. I also turned on the ceiling fan and turned down the ac 1 degree because the printer created so much heat in our home office.

2. I’m turning on all the lights at home between 8 and 9 pm this evening. This is actually better for the environment because we will be able to find our way around the house and quite possibly avoid serious injury. I hope hospitals keep the lights on this evening to put stitches in the heads of people who have received gashes caused by tripping on something in the dark. Less head injuries equals less need for electricity in hospital emergency rooms.

3. I will use a gas powered blower instead of our electric blower this evening to blow off our driveway and walk. Of course it will cost me $3 and expel 0.32659 pounds of carbon into the atmosphere to drive our SUV to the 7-11 to buy gas for the blower.

4. We were going to hang out our clothes to dry between 8 and 9 this evening just for show, but the neighbor’s dog got ahold of a couple pairs of jeans off the line the other day and now someone has to make us 2 new pairs in a sweatshop somewhere in China, ship them to us, place them in a well lighted warehouse, ship them to the local store and then we have to spend another $3 in gas driving our SUV to WalMart to get them. Okay, this isn’t working out like we had planned.

5. We won’t be watching TV this evening when CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox spend millions of dollars flying their crews all over the globe in jets to cover Al Gore who will fly all over the globe in a private Lear jet to be at all the electricity burning events celebrating Earth Hour.

6. We just may sit for a few minutes and turn off the lights for show. However, we will be lighting petroleum based candles so we can see in the dark. If you need petroleum based candles, you can find them at WalMart, that’s all they sell.

7. Before we go to bed we will be taking cold showers to save hot water, and then we will snuggle under our electric blanket to get warm again. We wouldn’t want to catch a cold and have to take another ride in the SUV to see a doctor, would we?

8. We will go to bed early tonight so as not to burn more electricity than we need to today. Of course we will wake up early and need to leave the front porch light on tomorrow morning so we can find our way back into the house after taking a walk in the dark, thanks to daylight savings time.

9. We will not use our electrically powered water filter this evening. Instead we will be drinking bottled water imported half way around the world from Fiji.

I was going to write a list of 10 things, but I’ll stop here instead and turn off the monitor to save a little electricity. Beside, I need to hop in our SUV and drive around the neighborhood to finish passing out all those flyers.

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7 Responses to “10 Dim Witted Ways To Celebrate Earth Hour Today”

  1. Haha good post Alan. I’d not actually heard about Earth Hour, but if possible I’ll have to attempt all of these suggestions :)

  2. LOL. Nice suggestions. 😛

    Dubai kicked Earth Hour’s ass, said half of it would decline because it’s too dangerous. Teehee! 😀

  3. haha I like the nonexistant 10th one.

  4. Good post, sitting in the dark on a saturday evening is a pretty dumb idea. We can turn the lights off when we go to bed and during the day. But that one hour is when we actually need them.

  5. Now that was a funny twist. Its nice to find some good humor on the blogs once in a while.

  6. There are plenty of good reasons to spend a Saturday evening in the dark, but they’re certainly not related to “Earth Hour”…

  7. Haha, I too blogged about earth hour on my site:) yours are very funny :)

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